Sweet Insanity
by Mesajinx
Summary: … And no-one knew what under lie… But Pinkie Pie… The spastic baker of Sweet Street… WARNING: Anthro, Much Violence


Sweet Insanity

By: John Keith Bone

_*Attend the tale of Pinkie Pie… Her mane was pink, her movement spry… She baked for the ponies of Ponyville with never an upset, that is until… She trot a path that few would try… Did Pinkie Pie... The spastic baker of Sweet Street… She kept a shop in Ponyville… Where all the ponies had their fill… And what if they could tell the tale of all those who went missing to make all the sales…? For Pinkie… For Pinkie Pie… The spastic baker of Sweet Street… Raise your hacksaw high, Pinkie, hold it to the sky! Slowly does the life flow from their shining eyes… Her room was bright, her things were grand… She threw the best parties in the land… With bright balloons and streamers galore, with games and prizes and so much in store… And no-one knew what under lie… But Pinkie Pie… The spastic baker of Sweet Street… Enthusiastic, Pinkie was, bright and happy and gay she was under the store, back of the room, looked like a party but felt like tomb. Pinkie giggled and Pinkie laughed, nobody suspected a macabre plan… Pinkie was smooth; Pinkie was subtle, draw your number and rest all your troubles. Pinkie was smooth; Pinkie was subtle, draw your number and rest all your troubles. Pinkie was smooth; Pinkie was subtle, draw your number and rest all your troubles. Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie! PINKIE! Attend the tale of Pinkie Pie, attend the tale of Pinkie Pie. Or stick a cupcake in your eye, or stick a cupcake in your eye. What happens now, well that's the tale, and everyone's waiting, so we might as well… See Pinkie… See Pinkie Pie… the spastic baker of Sweet-….! STREET…!_

_*__Sang to the tune of __The Ballad of Sweeny Todd __by Stephen Soundheim_

The day started like any other in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the air was crisp and fresh. I strode down the sidewalk with a wide grin plastered upon my face. I loved this town! The friendly ponies and all their cheer made me sometimes forget the bandages on my face. The scar that was my eye. They accepted me for who I was. I –Sebastian Cornelius Cooper- was loved here. In the few weeks I had actually taken residence in this wonderful town, I had made a few friends. Six, to be exact. One of whom I was actually on my way to see. My gaze was fixed upward, for the pony I was in search of actually lived on a cloud! Upon reaching the spot said to be below the cluster, a small, hand-operated dumbwaiter of sorts lied in wait for any Earth-bound creature to gain access to the wonderful home above. "Wonderful", come to think of it, was not at all a strong enough term to even begin to describe the place! It had a very Roman or Greek feel, with an archway leading into a lawn of cumulus of the purest of white. In a small corner lied a pond, but not one of water. The concept always intrigued me… How was it that only in Equestria were rainbows a liquid, able to be suspended in midair? No amount of analytical staring I could do, however, could distract me from the sheer beauty of the thing! The way the falls cascaded so perfectly… How the mist produced was so vivid and multi-colored… To top off how incredible this Coliseum in the sky was, the way the cloud melded and contoured to the bottoms of my shoes was almost heavenly! It was like walking on marshmallows! A silken chord hung from a bell mere paces from the door. I reached up happily and gave it three solid tugs, sending out the gong-like tones, but alas, no answer came.

"RainbowDash!" I called, cupping a hand at the side of my mouth to project further.

Still no answer…

_Well, that's certainly strange… Dash told me to come here… Why would she invite me over, then not be here when I show up?_

My brow furrowed as I sat in pensive silence, tapping my lip with my index all the while.

The answer struck me suddenly.

_Oh! She wanted me to come over, then we'd go down to Sugar Cube Corner together and help Pinkie with her stuff! She must have gone ahead. Better get down there quick before they start without me._

The trek to the Corner was not a long one, but when I went inside, the place seemed abandoned. It was a typical bakery. Beautifully crafted cupcakes, candies, and pies lined the clean display cases, but something was off… In a place as cheery as this, and certainly one that dealt in baked goods should not have had the kind of heavy silence that hung in the atmosphere then. Something was wrong. Very wrong. My hand stopped just before touching the knob. The icy air made the fur on the back of my neck stand on end. It was just too unsettling… With a violent turn, I tore my bandage from my eye and began to search the tiny store.

"Pinkie Pie? Rainbow Dash? Are you guys here!" I called to no response.

The place was truly empty. No. No, it wasn't. It couldn't have been. The air in this place spoke of calamity… Of… Evil… After prowling through the glossy parlor for the fourth time, I finally decided to go behind the counter. Nothing, once more. Just a candy-themed cash register and a pale white two-way door. A peek through the door revealed an empty kitchen as well. With a sigh, my gaze drifted downward, where a small imperfection in the hardwood caught my eye. A seam like that could have only been made by a person. A trap-door, maybe…?

I ran my fingers along the line until I found a large depression. Large enough for a hoof… I then lifted the planks and was immediately blasted by freezing air. It was so cold, one could have mistaken it for a meat locker. An unintelligible phrase echoed off the walls, beckoning me forth…

The staircase was dark, and I was unable to find a light switch, so I let the light from the store above light my way. The staircase seemed a bit neglected. The concrete was cracked and stained with orange in several places. Upon reaching the bottom, it struck me how strong the air smelled of antiseptic and bleach. A clean area…? Why? A clinking sound startled me, causing me to stop dead in my tracks, my eyes darting from right to left and back again. A light on the wall opposite me began to spread. There was a door around the corner from me and someone was coming out! Out of panic, I toe-hopped to the wall to my right and placed my back to it, dropping to a crouch. A small voice sounded as the light spread further.

"Do this, do that. Sheesh. Why can't she clean 'er own tools?"

I knew that voice… As I stood and turned the corner, I was met with the face of a young blank-flanked filly with wonderfully red hair and a cute little bow to tie it back.

"Hey there, Apple Bloom." I greeted happily.

The filly looked up at me with a look of surprise.

"Oh. Hah there, Sebas-chun. What're you doin' here?" she asked in her adorable southern drawl.

"I'm looking for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Have you seen them?"

Something was most defiantly strange about Apple Bloom… The look in her eyes was not one of a small child on some adventure, exploring whatever it was that lied beneath the Corner. No, she knew this place, and knew it well.

"Oh, ah've seen 'em. But, uh… They're busy! Yeah, busy! Why don't you come and play with me?" she asked, giving me a look I was too familiar with. She used the same innocent, wide-eyed look to convince Twilight Sparkle to stay for brunch.

"Apple Bloom... What are you doing down here…? What's going on?" I asked in a firm tone.

The cute look dissipated in an instant, being replaced by an angry grimace.

"Look, you shouldn't be here, bunny boy!" she snapped.

I cocked my head back in surprise. She just snapped at me!

"Apple Bloom-"

My words were cut short by a furious filly pouncing on my chest with an angry roar. The wind left me with a loud "Oof!". The little girl I knew was gone… This wasn't Apple Bloom! With a smile of a madman, she threw her head back, then forward again into my muzzle, bringing forth a massive "CRACK!" and a spurt of blood. I cried out and threw an arm to knock her off of me, which she grabbed and yanked toward her and embraced my head, sinking her teeth into my right cheek and tore away a sizable chunk of flesh. With another anguished cry, I blindly threw my other hand at her, catching her in the chest and rocketing her off of me into the wall. Her recovery was quick.

"Now tah prove to Mistress Pinkie that ah'm werthy tah help 'er…" Apple Bloom assured herself, taking a low stance, chewing on the patch of my cheek contentedly.

"Apple Bloom, you don't have to do this! You're better than this! You're not a killer!" I pleaded as I staggered back to my feet, holding the gaping hole in my cheek. The blood was already seeping between my fingers and sliding down my arms.

_She's fast and means to kill… What option do I have! _I reasoned to myself as she leaped forward once again for another bite. Banking hard to my left, I threw a hard kick, catching my small assailant in the gut. She flew a solid five feet back toward the door and rolled backward back to her feet. With another furious roar, she bucked the door she came through shut and charged forward, absolute Hell-fury in her eyes. This was it! I took my hand away from my wound and caught her by the throat, swinging my body to the left and forced her against the wall. Her hooves quickly found my wrist and began pulling, thrashing… Her legs kicked about blindly for a moment before she realized her position. It took only a moment before I too saw her intent. Just as she threw the aimed shot, I caught it with my free hand and brought her to face the ceiling. With a hard drop, my knee met her spine as hard as I was able to manage. I felt the poor thing's spine break with a most disgusting crack. A scream caught in her throat, never to be let out, and she went limp in my grasp.

I stood there for several moments heaving deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down. My face sang with pain and the sensation of blood pouring down my neck, slickening my fur. I had just killed my dearest Apple Bloom… The younger sister of one of my best friends… The realization was too much. It didn't take me long to crumble beneath it and begin sobbing.

_Pull yourself together, Cooper! You don't have time to cry! Rainbow Dash is in trouble! GET UP! _I scolded myself before standing once more.

"I'm coming, Dash."

The room Apple Bloom came from was in fact a meat locker, but these were no normal cuts of meat. They weren't shaped like cows, no… Far too small… Too lean… Oh my God…

"Ponies…" my voice came as a whisper.

_Pinkie Pie did this? _My mind began racing with images of Pinkie slicing into a living pony…_ No, no… That's impossible! Pinkie could never do something so terrible! Not to anything or anypony! Then again… _I played my fingers over the throbbing hole in my cheek. The blood was beginning to freeze in the frigid air of the locker. _Apple Bloom did just try to kill me… Maybe it's not impossible. "Mistress Pinkie"… Were they master and slave? Partners of some kind? Maybe Pinkie was teaching Bloom…_

With a sigh and a shake to clear my head, I began pushing my way through the frozen corpses. For a place so cold, it really reeked down there… Maybe there was a fresh entry… A very recent one… I had to hurry.

After forcing the next door open, my still-bleeding nose crinkled at the stench. Iron, urine, and an orchestra of other ungodly scents filled the air.

"I just wanna go home." A groggy, sickly voice mumbled.

I knew that voice as well…

_Rainbow Dash!_

"But you can't, silly! I need you for the harvesting." A bright, cheery reply came.

_Pinkie Pie…_

A quick glance to my right sent my gut lurching. A table made of bleached bone stood with skinned corpses in the seats, gripping grails. Their faces had been stitched up into permanent, twisted smiles and their eyes held open in a similar manner. On the backs of the chairs were organs, filled with helium like party balloons… A banner hung on the opposite wall made of dried hide, a message scrawled in blood. "Life's a party"…

_This is defiantly Pinkie Pie's realm… But this isn't my Pinkie… This is no party…_

Another survey of the area yielded little more than more fuel for endless nightmares, but alas, nothing I could use as a weapon.

_Looks like I'm gonna have to go bare-knuckle on this one…_

I strolled in, not minding the blood still finding it's way down my cheek.

"Party's over, Pinkie." I announced with false courage. In truth, I was losing a lot of blood, and she was armed. If a mere student of hers almost did me in, surly the master herself would be an even bigger challenge. There was also Rainbow to account for. Her Cutie Marks had been skinned from her flanks, and she was missing her left wing. Pinkie was still holding the mass of light blue feathers between her hooves, then tossed the thing onto a small sterilized table, taking up a hacksaw.

"Oh. Hi, Sebby! You made it!" Pinkie merrily asked. "Why do they call it a hacksaw? Hacking was what I was doing with knife. You don't hack with a saw. You saw!"

"Pinkie, stop it. You've done enough already." I barked weakly.

"Oh, come one, I need more of my special ingredient."

"Pinkie Pie!"

I was beginning to get dizzy. The bleeding of my face was beginning to get to me… I had to end this quick, or I was done for…

The pink-coated pony turned to me with a look of annoyance, her grip on the saw's handle tightening.

"You came to help me harvest, right?" she asked.

"No, Pinkie. I… I came to get Rainbow and take her home. Now, just let her down and we will never speak of this again. I swear, nobody here say a word."

Pinkie smiled.

"I'm sorry, Seb. I really am. It's just that I don't make the rules. Your guys' numbers came up, so I need you two to help me."

"Rainbow, I'm gonna get you out of here." I tried to assure the restrained pegasus.

Pinkie took a solemn step toward me, a sort of twisted hunger glinting in her eyes.

"You're going to make a tasty cupcake, Sebastian. I will miss you when you're gone, but at least we can spend our last moments together." She said.

_Cupcakes? This was for cupcakes?_

"You're mad." I retorted.

"Funny. They all say something like that… Even little Twist…" Pinkie gestured to the bone table, which I then realized was decorated with the severed heads of four little fillies. The pale one with bright red hair and freckles was the one she referred to.

It took me a moment before I was able to focus once again.

"Even foals… You really are sick…"

What was I stalling for!

Unfortunately, I was unable to even finish the thought before Pinkie made her move, slashing at my face. My eye was ultimately what saved me, as it seemed to quicken my reflexes even further than they already were. I saw the slash coming from a mile away and almost in slow motion. Even so, Pinkie was quick, and her assault flowed quite well. With the missed slash, she used her momentum to sweep at my legs. I hopped over the strike and followed up with a punch of my own that connected hard with the left side of her face. Her head snapped to the side, but she smiled… As her frame spun about, she threw her torso downward, launching a spinning back kick that connected with my ribcage. Much to my surprise and mild horror, the strike launched me a solid six feet across the room back into the table. My god, she hit hard! The sliding of metal filled my ears for a moment, but before I was able to get up, Pinkie had leaped onto me, baring all her weight into the knee in my gut which knocked the wind straight out of my lungs with a loud whoosh. Tunnel vision had even set in from the impact, but a flash of steel caught my attention. It appeared to be a Ravensdale knife. A Buckrake! Before I was able to react, a strange, painful sensation shot up my left arm and raked down my spine, causing the loudest scream I'd ever let out to rocket forth from my lungs. The pain forced my body into motion. In less than a millisecond, I had thrown the deranged mare from me and gotten to my feet, throwing several blind strikes all the while. Once I brought myself back to a focused state, I threw a glance at the arm she had mangled only to recoil in absolute horror.

"My hand…" I mumbled hazily, not quite sure if what I saw was real…

My furious gaze locked on Pinkie, who was making something of a mid-battle snack out of my now-severed hand, chewing one of my fingers with a look in her eyes that could only be described as sinister.

"You taste really good, Sebby!" Pinkie howled after she swallowed the digits between her lips.

After tossing the rest of my palm away, she was upon me once again, faster than I could process. As fast as Q all those years ago… In a flurry of strikes and slashes, she only met air… I was beyond desperate… First my face, then my hand… If I didn't do something decisive soon, I was going to die! My body was moving at a rate I'd never really managed consciously before, but it seemed to be working. Her strikes never met my frame. She appeared to be getting angry and her strikes became wider after a short time, and she began roaring with each stroke. After missing a two-handed swing, she slipped up and bared her back to me. I took the opportunity and took hold of the nape of her neck with my right, swept her legs out from beneath her and spun her about to slam her into the overturned table behind me. The bones that made up the framework of the thing shattered upon impact. Pinkie ceased movement for a moment, but that wasn't enough from me… Taking up a femur that had been broken free and wielding it like a club, I began a mad assault on the back of the pink-maned psychopath's head. After two slams, my knees buckled, but I would not allow myself to stop… Not after all she's done… No… She deserved this… It wasn't long before a strange mixture of sobs and furious cries of exertion began to pour from me, pounding harder and harder with my improvised weapon all the while. Several moments passed before the bone broke in my hand at which point I could not continue any further. No, I found myself clenching my wrist, trying to stop the bleeding which was finally beginning to make me nauseous, sobbing like a small, terrified child.

"She's dead! She's dead, Rainbow! I murdered her!" I sobbed out at the top of my lungs.

"Seb… It's alright… Please, just get me out of this thing so we can go home…" Rainbow Dash asked in an assuring manner.

Her words shook me back into focus. I choked down my tears and looked to the makeshift operating table she was strapped to. As I made my way to her, she managed a smile. A beautiful smile… Getting all the straps loosened was no easy feat, and with my non-dominant hand no less. Still, we managed together. I had lost more blood than she, so she offered to assist me out. I gratefully took her up on the offer.

Two days passed before I saw my dear Rainbow Dash again. The hospital contacted Alice, seeing as she was my emergency contact. She didn't take the news well… The nurse handed me the phone for me to speak to her. The conversation mostly consisted of me assuring her that I was alright, her sobbing and offering to send me the money to get a surgery that would give me a replacement hand. Not a metal prosthetic, but a working, living hand. Not only that, she even offered Rainbow her cutie marks and wing back. I accepted happily and invited her out to see Equestria. She accepted as well. We set the date for my upcoming birthday, which was only a month away. Dash and I met of the first time again in the recovery room after our surgeries. We were both lucid and able to walk, so we milled about, talking about the last two days in the hospital. After half an hour, we found our way out into a courtyard-like place. The trees were well-trimmed and the birds sang their carefree songs. We walked the paths in silence for a time, exchanging content glances. However, Rainbow's eyes spoke of a sort of longing I hadn't seen before… She suddenly took my new hand in hers, turning to me.

"I never got to thank you." She said.

"It's alright, Rainbow. You don't owe me anything." I replied, examining her eyes carefully. In truth, I wanted to be closer to her…

My wish was quickly granted as she leaned in a measure closer. This new proximity brought on a furious blush that heated my cheeks beneath my fur. I'd never been more thankful to have such dark fur before in my life, for I did not wish her to see that I was nervous. To keep my charade of confidence up, I leaned in as well.

"Thank you, Sebastian…" she mumbled lowly, bringing her free hoof up to take a light grip on my cheek.

Wait… Was she about to-

Our lips met tenderly at first, causing my eye to widen in surprise, but after a moment the taste took me. I planted my free hand firmly over her newly-recovered cutie mark and tilted my head to take more.

The kiss lasted many endless seconds, but she eventually broke off, blushing like a school-filly.

I stood in silence for several moments, reveling in the ghost feeling of her lips against mine, which she took to peck my cheek one more time and take her leave.

"I'll see ya 'round, Bunny Boy." She called over her shoulder.

"Yeah… See ya 'round." I replied with a wide grin.

Five days later, everything was back to normal. I had plans with Rarity to fit a suit and be in a fashion show she was throwing later that day. She said it was going to be her finest suit and "who better to model it than the town hero?". I strode merrily along the sidewalk, greeting a cute little mail mare along the way. The blonde-maned nut was talking to a mailbox, trying to get it to open up because it was time for his breakfast.

"Morning, Ditzy!" I called.

She looked at me with a smile and that familiar, cross-eyed expression, nodding a greeting.

My path took me in front of Sugar Cube Corner… I held my breath as I walked past, so as not to agitate the spirits that lied within… After a few blocks, I came to the front door of Rarity's boutique. The structure was tall, white and well decorated, much like the unicorn pony that ran it. When I tried to open the door, I found it locked.

_Well, that's certainly odd… Rarity never LOCKS the shop… Just flips the sign… _I thought to myself.

A small square of paper stuck out of the crease in the door. I took it up. A note!

_Dear Ponyville,_

_Rarity left for Canterlot to showcase her talent and work for Hoity-Toity. She sends her regards and love to everypony in town. She will not be returning._

_ -Pinkamena Diane Pie_

My jaw dropped with the note.

Oh my god…..


End file.
